


idiots being idiots together.

by dunraeken



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: (Obviously), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, M/M, Sexual Humor, T rated for language, Teasing, Texting, there's way too many (lame) sex jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-07-24 23:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunraeken/pseuds/dunraeken
Summary: harringrove, robin/nancy, elmax & the party being a loving family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I changed their ages because if it was their canon age difference, there would be 13/14y talking to +17y about sex (jokes) and that's way too weird.
> 
> So the party members and Suzie are 16, Steve just turned 18 and the rest is 17. Erica is probably like 14? idk, she won't be here that much anyways.
> 
> names 
> 
> billiam - billy  
> mom - steve  
> bird - robin  
> bullshit - nancy  
> charles- lucas  
> mad max - max  
> should I stay - jonathan  
> should I go - will  
> hopper- jane/eleven  
> dusty-bun - dustin  
> suzie-poo - suzie  
> ferris wheel - mike  
> 
> 
> \- they're not creative at all and most are pretty obvious;  
> \- the names will change all the time;  
> \- not everyone mentioned here is in the chapter.

_**Dustin** added **hopper, should I stay, should I go, charles, ferris wheel, mad max, suzie-poo, Nancy, Mom and Robin**_ _t_ _o " fr e sh a voca do"._

Dustin: wassup fuckers

Mom: watch your language little shit

Dustin: watch yours first

ferris wheel: what is this?

hopper: ... a group chat?

ferris wheel: no shit sherlock

mad max: DON'T BE RUDE TO HER 

ferris wheel: sorry jane

ferris wheel: but why this group??? we already have the party group

Dustin: well, here we have everyone else

Dustin: except for our parents like ew

Mom: yeah speaking of everyone

Mom: can you add someone for me?

Dustin: who? everyone's here

Mom: I don't know...

Mom: maybe my fucking BOYFRIEND

Dustin: jeez, I forgot about that loser

mad max: he's not a loser

charles: do you even like him?

mad max: um, fucking yes? 

ferris wheel: since when? 

hopper: since he loves me and max dating

mad max: he fucking stans our relationship

Mom: yeah anD

Mom: WHERE IS HE, DUSTIN

Dustin: calm down wtf

Dustin: I don't even have his number 

Mom: I thought I told you to save it

Dustin: yeah I don't care about him enough

Mom: (463) ###–####

_**Dustin**_ added _**Billiam**_ to the group chat.

Billiam: I told you not to call me that 

Billiam: and wtf is this

Billiam: I'm leaving

Mom: hey 

Billiam: guess I'll have to stay

Mom: 💕💞💓💗💖

Billiam: ❤️💛💚💙💜

ferris wheel: wow billy does actually knows how to a) use emojis b) love someone

Billiam: HAHA

Billiam: how's your mom, wheeler?

Mom: BILLY

Billiam: I'm just kidding, ew

ferris wheel: don't 'ew' my mom

Nancy: do you actually want him to like her??? 

ferris wheel: I guess not

Billiam: dumbass

Mom: hEY

Billiam: sorry babe

Mom: ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Billiam: 💗💗💗💗

charles: someone is getting lucky tonight

mad max: as if I they need a reason do it

Billiam: who even is charles?

mad max: lucas

charles: it's my middle name 

Billiam: lame

charles: well not all of us can be called William Theodore 

Billiam: MAX I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU

mad max: it was fucking Steve, when he was drunk

Billiam: no funny business tonight.

Mom: sorry theodore

Billiam: that's not helping your case

Mom: ... :( 

Robin: hey max, since they do it in your house

Robin: who tops?

Mom: why are you asking this to a 16 year old?

Robin: what? I'm 17 and you're 18 ffs 

mad max: gross

mad max: not the gay part, obviously

mad max: billy is my brother

Billiam: STEP 

mad max: whatever, you love me anyways 

mad max: and like how would I even know? and please don't tell me

Dustin: steve tops

Dustin: he told me

Billiam: wtf

Billiam: I can't believe you

Mom: BABY I DIDN'T

**_Robin_** changed " ** _Billiam_** " to " ** _bottom_** " 

bottom: the audacity 

bottom: imma cut a bitch

bottom: And, Stephen?

Mom: that's not my name

bottom: We'll talk in person.

bottom: Stephen.

charles: look at the way he's writing, it's steve's funeral

Dustin: bye mom

_**bottom**_ changed _ **"Robin"**_ to _ **"bird"**_

 _ **bottom**_ changed _ **"Dustin"**_ to _ **"dusty-bun"**_

 _ **bottom**_ changed _ **"Mom"**_ to _ **"not my top"**_

Nancy: you do realize that you confirmed that you are the bottom right?

bottom: WE TAKE TURNS OKAY

bottom: you're just jealous because you don't get to bottom with robin

bird: that's not true

Nancy: yes it is...

bird: you said you didn't mind it

Nancy: well I do

not my top: oh my god

not my top: can you stop talking about sex in front of MY CHILDREN????

hopper: they were talking about sex????

bottom: akvsiwbNvjsvwj

bottom: oh my god she's too precious for this world

ferris wheel: can we please stop talking about Nancy's sex life?

mad max: and billy's

should I go: hey guys

bird: HI MY PRECIOUS MUFFIN

bird: stop with the dirty rn 

bottom: I if wanted dirty I would just look at your hair

bird: YOU, of all people, wanna talk about dirty hair?

bird: imma cut you

bottom: imma kill you

bird: imma WASH YOUR HAIR

not my top: Jesus Christ

not my top: the bottoms are fighting

bottom: call me bottom one more time and you see 

Nancy: what are you gonna do? top him?

mad max: STOP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't even know what is this. I was bored and started to think about them texting and being a family, I ended up writing this in 2 hours.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.  
> Don't forget to leave a comment and kudos if you did. <3
> 
> Also, does anyone knows Robin/Nancy ship name? I usually call them Buckeeler or Wheeckley, but I don't know... sounds kinda weird.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bottom/bolly - billy  
> mom- steve  
> bird - robin  
> bullshit- nancy  
> charles - lucas  
> mad max - max  
> should I stay/nojathan - jonathan  
> should I go/cutie pie - will  
> hopper - jane  
> dusty-bun - dustin  
> suzie-poo - suzie  
> ferris wheel - mike
> 
> in this chapter neil is an asshole as usual, but nothing graphic. just mentions of him being abusive.

charles: so to clear things up

charles: if steve is our mom, does that make billy our dad? 

bird: are you kidding me? 

bird: luke, I am your father

bottom: yeah I don't want anything to do with steve's children 

hopper: what about me? :(

bottom: only you

hopper: <3

bottom: <3

bottom: hey robin, are you nancy's daddy?

bird: is steve your mommy?

ferris wheel: I think I'm gonna throw up 

mad max: same

Nancy: this is so gross 

ferris wheel: why don't you have a nickname?

_**Mom**_ changed " _ **Nancy**_ " to " ** _bullshit_** "

Mom: there you go

bullshit: THE AUDACITY

bullshit: I can't believe you bitch

Mom: it's your line

Mom: to me at least

bird: I-

bullshit: I said that like once 

Mom: it hurt me >:( 

bullshit: oh go suck a dick

bottom: hi steve ;)

Mom: fuck you billy

bottom: if say so :)

Mom: ffs

mad max: for MY sake

mad max: stop this shit

dusty-bun: I second that

charles: I third that 

ferris wheel: I forth that

mad max: that's not a thing michael 

ferris wheel: now it is

ferris wheel: maxine

mad max: william come get your boyfriend

bottom: what did steve do now?

should I go: she meant me 

bottom: your name is william too?

should I go: no but she likes to call me that

bottom: you should call her maxine then, she loooooves it

hopper: stop it 

bird: hold on

bird: if will is "should I go" who is "should I stay"? 

bullshit: its nojathan

_**bird**_ changed " _ **should I stay**_ " to " ** _nojathan_** " 

nojathan: wtf

bullshit: sorry im a little bit drruk

Mom: it's not even 9pm

Mom: robin what are you doing to your girlfriend

bird: she's out with billy

Mom: they weren't drunk when we started talking wtf 

Mom: how much did you guys drink? 

bottom: not even the hole botgle

Mom: bottle?

bottom: yea

Mom: of what? 

bullshit: vodka 

bullshit: bolly just feel face firstt on the flooor

_**mad**_ **_max_** changed " _ **bottom**_ " to " ** _bolly_** "

Mom: where are you?

bolly: i dont evn know

Mom: send me your location, I'll pick you guys up

bolly: dont worry therrs yhis guy 

bullshit: he said that he ciuld take us home

bolly: -▶️0:02: " _He's so hot._ "

Mom: WHAT DON'T GO WITH HIM

Mom: WHERE ARE YOU 

bolly: -▶️0:03: " _You're_ _such a moooom." * **Nancy giggles** * _

Mom: you don't sound drunk

bird: they're not

bullshit: -▶️0:07: "W _e_ _just wanted to see you freaking out." * **A lot of hysterical laughs***_

Mom: I am going to kill you

bolly: you like you too much

Mom: i loVE YOU TOO MUCH

mad max: I was worried too

hopper: me too!! don't do that

suzie-poo: Even I was concerned and I don't even know any of you in person. 

bullshit: sorry guys

hopper: don't do it again

Mom: yeah, I could have had a heart attack!!!!! 

Mom: and I was about to call your parents

bolly: guess I wouldn't mind kraken

bolly: akren

bolly: kaeen

bolly: fuck karen

dusty-bun: are you sure you're not drunk? 

ferris wheel: stop with this thing with my mom

ferris wheel: nancy, hit him

bullshit: I'm on it

mad max: where are you billy? neil just got home

bolly: fucking shit

bolly: tell him I'm out with some girl, I'm all the way over nance's

mad max: what if he asks for her name? 

bullshit: you can say it's me

mad max: are you sure? he might want to talk to you 

bullshit: I'm already talking to billy about it, if he asks tell him the truth

bullshit: that he's with me

Mom: be careful baby, text me later 

bolly: I will, love you

Mom: love you too

hopper: that's so gay

dusty-bun: and when you kiss max it's so straight, right? 

mad max: kahsjsvwjsbsn 

charles: lmao

hopper: okay then 

hopper: that's so cute*** 

should I go: not all gays are cute 

ferris wheel: you are 

should I go: ohmygod

ferris wheel: ;) 

**_ferris wheel_** changed ** _"should I go_** " to " _ **cutie pie**_ _"_

charles: I feel sad that I'm the only one single

cutie pie: jonathan is single

nojathan: oh my god will

* * *

hopper: it's been a couple hours, where's billy?

mad max: he came home but neil wouldn't let him in, he might have hit billy

mad max: I don't know where he is because I think neil took his phone 

Mom: he's with me, sorry for not saying anything 

Mom: he did take his phone... and hit him

hopper: fuck

mad max: don't say that babie

hopper: sorry

hopper: is billy okay??? 

Mom: as okay as anyone can be after a punch in the face 

mad max: fuck, I hate neil so much

hopper: we should say something to my dad 

Mom: billy doesn't want to, we can't do anything without his words

bullshit: we've tried to convince him before, but he is afraid 

Mom: I don't like to pressure him 

Mom: I'm gonna go now, he's asleep in my lap.

Mom: _photo.jpg_

hopper: adorable

charles: even I have to agree

Mom: bye

* * *

_**a couple of days later**_

bird: don't ever tell him that but I miss billy

Mom: -▶️0:03: _* **Billy speaking** * "I'm using Steve's phone, bitch!"_

bird: that was nancy on my phone... 

Mom: -▶️0:06: _* **Billy** * "That's funny, because she's right here. Say hi, Nance." * **Nancy** * "Sorry, baby."_

bird: little shit

Mom: you love me 

bird: you wish, hargrove

Mom: I love you too, buckley

bird: fine, love you ( _ **deleted)**_

dusty-bun: I saw that

charles: same

mad max: me too

bird: shut up. you. saw. nothing.

dusty-bun: yes, ma'am

Mom: _screenshot.jpg_

bird: fucking shit


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's no upside down or powers but I still wanted jane, hopper and the byers to not live in hawkins. hopper and joyce are together and I guess they live in Indianapolis? (I'm not american so I don't know any Indiana cities other than the obvious lol)
> 
>   
> also everyone still has their s3 jobs (except for jonathan) 
> 
> sorry for not updating, I'm working on other fics right now and I completely forgot to post this one.

dusty-bun: anyone in for a movie night?

Mom: as longs as it isn't in my house 

dusty-bun: why not? :(

Mom: for the first time in forever my parents are home 

Mom: not even billy is coming over 

bullshit: my house is free 

ferris wheel: and have billy around mom? no thanks

bullshit: ok so first of all: you don't even know if he's coming 

bullshit: and second of all: wake up michael, he's fucking gay

Mom: I can confirm that he will go and that he is gay

dusty-bun: ok so everyone in?

mad max: I'm in

bullshit: yes

bird: obviously I'm in

charles: me too

bullshit: ok so 7 pm at my house

hopper: I miss movie nights :( 

ferris wheel: you guys should come visit soon

mad max: yeah, the last time we saw you was almost a month ago 

nojathan: we'll go as soon as possible

cutie pie: I miss you guys so fucking much

ferris wheel: I miss you :(

Mom: I can't accept will saying fuck

nojathan: hopper wants to kill him everytime he says it 

mad max: he's too precious to say it 

cutie pie: I'm not 10 🙄

Mom: you are to me 

cutie pie: 🙄🙄🙄

dusty-bun: quick question

dusty-bun: what are your favorites snacks?

Mom: billy

charles: I-

dusty-bun: what

mad max: ew

Mom: sorry

cutie pie: no you're not

Mom: yeah not really

Mom: but now for real, just order pizza 

ferris wheel: DON'T FORGET TO ADD PINEAPPLES

hopper: you're disgusting 

bullshit: billy and I invited heather and barb to movie night 

ferris wheel: NOOOOO

bullshit: deal with it, michael

ferris wheel: you guys won't stop talking 

Mom: why aren't they in the group? 

**_bullshit_** added **_barbie_** and _**the musical**_ to the group chat.

bullshit: hello bitches 

bird: hi heather ;)

the musical: oh hi rob ;)

bullshit: wtf is this 

barbie: 👀 

bullshit: ROBIN

bird: I'm just messing with you baby

bullshit: lol I know, I don't give a fuck 

Mom: LANGUAGE

barbie: ok so who's everyone around here, besides the obvious 

ferris wheel: I'm mike and I don't understand "the musical" 

mad max: like "heathers: the musical" bc her name is fucking heather??? dumb bitch 

ferris wheel: don't bE fUcKiNg rUde

mad max: ok kim kardashian

hopper: hi I'm jane, I don't think you know me 

barbie: hi :) 

barbie: like I know who you are but we've never talked 

charles: it's ya boi 

charles: lucas

cutie pie: will 

the musical: also know as the boy who went to the pool but never swam

cutie pie: at least I went? 

mad max: he was too busy making out with mike to swim

cutie pie: omfg that's not true 

ferris wheel: like you and jane NEVER MADE OUT IN THAT POOL 

hopper: yeah but we're cute 

cutie pie: um excuse me?? we're cute too 

hopper: you are, mike is ugly 

cutie pie: HEY that's my ugly boyfriend you're talking about 

ferris wheel: also um your ex? I was once pretty to you okay 

hopper: thank god I found max 

mad max: yeah I'm obviously perfect 

_**suzie-poo**_ _left the group chat._

hopper: what? 

mad max: why did she leave dustin?

_**dusty-bun** changed their name to_ " _ **Dustin**_ "

Mom: what happened? 

mad max: did you guys break up?

bird: dustin???

Mom: you don't have to talk to us about it, we just wanna make sure you're okay 

bullshit: yeah, take your time 

Dustin: I'm fine 

Dustin: but yeah we broke up

Mom: ah I'm so sorry 

bird: I am too, are you sure you're okay?

hopper: I wish I could hug you right know!

cutie pie: me too

Dustin: thanks guys but I really am okay

bullshit: do you wanna talk about it?

mad max: you don't have to, but we know she was your first love and maybe talking could help? idk

Dustin: actually she wasn't... I care for her, always have but...

Dustin: we would never have worked because I like someone else

Mom: hmmmm who??

charles: do we know her?

Dustin: it's actually a guy

Dustin: so yeah, i'm bi

bird: oh wow

mad max: I had no idea 

Mom: I don't think any of us had

Dustin: sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner

bird: are you kidding me? who cares??!

nojathan: the only thing we are worried about is your happiness

Mom: exactly!!! 

Dustin: I love you guys 

Mom: we love you too! 

mad max: yeah we do!!! 

hopper: so much 

charles: I'm proud of you 

cutie pie: we all are 

Dustin: movie night still happening right?

bullshit: absolutely! 

Dustin: mayfield you pick the movies 

mad max: oh yeaaaaah

Mom: oh no 

bird: you have done a huge mistake 

the musical: why? 

ferris wheel: she always picks the worst movies 

mad max: shut up or I won't let you watch 

ferris wheel: um you're coming to my house 

mad max: I'll knock you out

ferris wheel: I'd like to see you try 

Mom: as if she couldn't do it 

hopper: go max! 

cutie pie: no no no 

Dustin: yes yes yes 

charles: YES

Mom: if any of you want a ride to the Wheeler's you better stop it 

charles: I live like 2 blocks from his place 

Mom: dustin?

Dustin: hey I'm sad let me live 

Mom: no you're not you already like someone else 

Dustin: and he doesn't like me back :( 

Mom: yeah you're right, cry all you want 

* * *

barbie: yesterday was so much fun 

Dustin: yeah I really needed that

hopper: I'm living for the videos of mike and max crying 

mad max: who tf sent them to her????

Mom: sorry 

Mom: but hey you guys totally bonded while crying 

ferris wheel: that's gross 

mad max: the only gross thing was billy and steve making out throughout the whole thing

Mom: we hadn't seen each other for 3 days

mad max: oh wow I haven't seen my girl for over a month

mad max: suck it up

charles: we all know what he's actually sucking 

Mom: hey shut up you're not allowed to say shit like that 

charles: oh I'm sorry am I wrong?

Mom: no but you can't say it

bird: hey guess what I'm about to do rn

nojathan: is it nancy?

the musical: dude wtf kagsjsgs

bird: that's later 

the musical: omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea how to write Suzie, so...  
> sorry lol.
> 
> and like this was supposed to be harringrove centric but billy is not even here anymore lol (he'll be back next chapter probably)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for almost 100 kudos and for all the views!!! I'm glad that you're enjoying this (I don't even know how!)
> 
> sorry for not updating... I'm lazy as fuck

mad max: can someone please kill me? 

ferris wheel: I'll do it, but why?

cutie pie: -_- 

charles: who uses these faces anymore 

bolly: I do :( 

hopper: me too :(

hopper: wait a minute

hopper: YOU'RE BACK 

bolly: fucking finally

bird: hi bitch 

bullshit: hi bitch

the musical: hi bitch 

Dustin: is this that cash me outside girl song? 

bolly: no, that's actually hi bich not bitch

bird: how do you even know that? hmmm???

hopper: billy is a bhad bhabie fan 

bolly: EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME BITCH

charles: why do you even know her name, jane? lmao

Mom: stop swearing in front of jane >:( 

bolly: I'm not in front of her?

Mom: you think you're funny? 

bolly: I know I am

bird: shut up hargrove

bird: @mad max come back here 

bolly: missed you too :* 

bullshit: I can't believe this

bullshit: ":*" ????? fucking die 

bolly: I don't do emojis

nojathan: you literally used hearts 2 weeks ago

bolly: first of all: creepy much? 

nojathan: you know it

bolly: second of all: it was to steve, he deserves it

Mom: 💗💗💗

Mom: what's up with max? where is she?

hopper: she's fine, it's because of work

ferris wheel: she's been working for like 2 weeks

hopper: like your preppy ass would sit all day long in a grocery store every fucking day and be nice to people WHILE it's hot

bolly: she swears 

hopper: I have the best teacher 

bolly: I feel like a proud mama 

ferris wheel: it's not that hard ffs

bolly: you don't even have a job

ferris wheel: at least I don't show off my body to other people's moms

bolly: OKAY that's noT my fault

bolly: I'm a lifeguard, am I supposed to work in the SUN by a POOL wearing long sleeved shirts??? fuck no

Mom: and some of us happen to like your uniform

bolly: I know you do ;)

mad max: yeah we all do, shut up

* * *

Mom: I can't believe you guys ran away 

charles: what else were we supposed to do? wait until you were finished? 

Mom: yeah ok I guess that makes sense

Mom: I'm sorry okay? 

Mom: but you were the ones who fucking broke into my house 

Dustin: you said we could come over, you didn't answer so we let ourselves in

ferris wheel: and we didn't break in, we used the key that was under the vase 

mad max: I saw things that can never be unseen... 

bird: what happended? 

Dustin: we caught steve and billy having sex 

bullshit: oh my god 

bird: lmaooooo

mad max: it was so gross 

bolly: you didn't even see anything 

mad max: I SAW BOTH OF YOU NAKED

bolly: for like a second 

charles: we also heard a lot of things

Mom: no you didn't, shut up

Dustin: you're loud, it was gross

bolly: fuck you

charles: actually... fuck you, huh?

bird: I love these kids


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently I can only write billy and max ??? enjoy I guess
> 
> also I wrote this like a month ago so I don't even remember most of this lmao

Dustin: what's up cocksuckers 

Dustin: jesus I meant fuckers

bullshit: the only cocksucker here is billy

bolly: hey that's not true 

bolly: we BOTH are

bird: I can assure you that she is most definitely not a cocksucker 

bolly: maybe she's not a cocksucker now but... steve? jonathan? other people that she told me and I'm not allowed to say because we're bffs?

Mom: can you stop saying cocksucker?

mad max: can you stop talking about sex? 

mad max: seriously tho, it's like you can't go ONE day without having a sex talk 

mad max: also I can't believe billy said 'bffs' 

bullshit: you better shut up billy or I'll start talking about everything that you and steve do

bullshit: and well max, we really are bffs so...

Mom: do you tell her everything, William?

bolly: what? of course not babe

bolly: shut it nancy 

bolly: but like who are you to complain? you tell dustin 

Mom: no I don't! he's a c h i l d

Dustin: I'm literally 2 years younger 

Mom: still!

bolly: then how did he know about the... you know what

Dustin: your face and the way you dress give it out 

bolly: is that true? do I have a bottom look?

Mom: yeah... 

bird: kinda

Dustin: a fucking lot

mad max: ugh I hate you all 

charles: what the fuck 

Dustin: is this allowed? 

hopper: IS IT VINE TIME

Dustin: you bet your ass it is!

cutie pie: I have no soul, have a nice day

bolly: I don't have one either

mad max: let's go to the beach

barbie: beach

bolly: ninki minjaj 

cutie pie: don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side aaaaaaaaaah

bird: hey I'm a lesbian

Mom: I thought you were american? 

bullshit: fun fact: this actually happened when robin came out to steve 

Mom: I did it on purpose OKAY

nojathan: sure jan

bolly: pretty boy, I love youuuu

Mom: oh wow

bird: smooth

bolly: oh, my bad I meant country boy*

hopper: sure jan 

* * *

  
bird: ok so long story short: billy is a dick

bolly: well, you are what you eat

bird: I'm not a pussy

mad max: AGAIN, do you guys ever talk about anything that's not sex related?

bolly: not really

mad max: you guys are gross

bolly: gayphobic

mad max: I'm gay too bitch

bolly: you're only part gay

mad max: now that's biphobia

bolly: ship up

mad max: you shUT up

ferris wheel: why are you always like this

Mom: try spending a day at their house

Mom: it's awful, they fight all the time

mad max: that's not true

mad max: you just stay in his bedroom, how are we supposed to fight if you guys are locked up there

hopper: gross

bolly: you're just pissed because you and jane can't do the same

bolly: and I have to take advantage when neil isn't home

bolly: if you had the chance you'd stay all day long locked up with jane in your room too

hopper: what the hell

mad max: we don't do this stuff

bolly: of course not, but only bc she lives far

Mom: can we stop taking about this

charles: yes please, I'm uncomfortable

Dustin: are you uncomfortable or jealous of your ex?

charles: we dated when we were 14

Dustin: she was your first love

charles: so what? 

Dustin: maybe you still like her, I don't know

charles: you know I don't! 

Dustin: do I?

charles: babe c'mon

Mom: um... would you guys like to tell us anything?

Dustin: oh shit yeah

Dustin: we're dating

mad max: I FUCKING KNEW IT

charles: you knew nothing 

hopper: what???

cutie pie: for how long???

Dustin: since the day I came out to you guys, Lucas came over later and well, I said some things... he said somethings... and we got together

cutie pie: that was like so long ago!

Dustin: um literally 1 week ago

cutie pie: still dude

charles: for the record, I'm bi 

bolly: I'm so proud rn

bird: congrats guys! I'm proud 

bullshit: I'm so happy!!!

nojathan: that's so random

Mom: well, not really

Mom: if you look closely it was only a matter of time 

bolly: you knew this whole time, didn't you?

Mom: kind of

bullshit: why didn't you share???

Mom: it's not like I was gonna out them!

bullshit: yeah, I guess that makes sense

ferris wheel: don't come @ me but I knew this whole time as well lol

Dustin: ffs lucas!

charles: you literally told steve

charles: and mike didn't tell anyone

Dustin: ummm NEITHER DID STEVE

charles: so none of us is guilty?

Dustin: yea okay 

barbie: is everyone gay?

barbie: I'm sure the only straights are jon and heather

the musical: sorry I can't control it

nojathan: I thought that you were straight barb?

bullshit: JSHSKSHSKHSJSBWKANZJ 

bolly: oh my foolish friend 

barbie: I'm such a lesbian dude

the musical: I had no idea

the musical: I have no gaydar!!! that's why

nojathan: we're just clueless

bolly: everyone is coming out, I like this so much

bolly: let's go to a pride parade 

mad max: REMEMBER BACK IN CALI???? 

mad max: ugh I miss it so badly

cutie pie: did you guys went a lot? 

bolly: everytime we could fool neil

bolly: it was so much fun

mad max: it was the only place where we could be ourselves for real

cutie pie: I bet it was amazing

mad max: it really was, maybe we can go to one close to us!

bird: OOOOH IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME 

Mom: I'm not taking responsibility for you guys, wait until you're 18

hopper: we could take a parent? 

Mom: yeah like anyone would be able to take care of you little demons

hopper: jeez 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should make this M rated because, Jesus, what am I writing? it is supposed to be cringey but this is getting out of control lol
> 
> also henclair??? I don't even ship them (same as byler) but I happened somehow. I didn't want everyone being LGBT+ bc that's just unrealistic tbh, so I kept jonathan and heather straight.
> 
> billy, robin, barb and will are gay. everyone else is bisexual.


End file.
